In 5th Grade my life started spiraling down hill. I developed anxiety of throwing up and I also developed separation anxiety. So I would have to stay at home I was out of school for 2-3 months and while I was out I was going to all different counselors and doctors for anxiety medication. Well it just so happened that the doctor we choose to help figure out what I would need to do to be able to control my anxiety, was in a partnership with a man who owned a facility that you would go to during the day and learn how to deal with all different things. I was placed in a class were it was kids younger than me so they moved me up to a middle school class. By this time it had been about a month and I weighed 70 pounds. Well they tried scaring me back into eating telling me all this stuff about what was going to happen to me if I did not start eating again. My parents took me out of there and I started eating again very slowly and schoolwork was being done at home. By the end of going through all that my faith with God was down to 0. I would question him and ask him why he made me go through all the pain of going to that place, or why did he even have to give me anxiety? Well the summer before 7th grade my eyes were opened back up to him. I went to Pine Cove Christian Camp and my counselor, Elizabeth, was the most amazing person I had ever met. We just talked and I felt so open to talking to her I think I could sense God trying to come back to me through her.
Elizabeth
But I still felt that I needed to go back there was some thing more just waiting for me. Well I was right I went down to the lake one day and one of the counselors, Michelle, was just sitting there. So I set there and she asked me what I talked to Elizabeth about in our talk? I told her about my anxiety and she kept tearing up then asking me stuff that was right on with what I was about to tell her. When I was done she was in awe she told me she had gone through the exact same thing at the same age and even went a place just like I did. She is on the same medication as me to. I was so amazed that God would put some one in my life that went through the same thing.
Michelle
But I still did not forgive God for what he had done to me. Then I went back to church and had amazing youth leaders!!!! I could see how Keri lives every minute for God and she trusted him with her heart like nothing else mattered to her. I love talking to Andrea she always has really good advice and always tells me that God has a plan for me. I look up to Christen for her perseverance and her passion for Christ which she does through singing. Brent…I love asking questions to him about what I’m going through and he always has an answer and a reference to the bible. Mr.S is my Bible teacher and it was Easter week and I kept asking him how I could reconcile my anger with God and how I know it is the right time to do it. He said that you have no doubt about it and you know it is right in your heart. Well it was the Friday before Easter 2010 and we were in Chapel singing, With Everything, and I just felt in my heart it was the right time and I started crying and just sang out. Then I prayed for him to forgive me for being mad at him and not wanting to have anything to do with him. And I felt so good to have that part of me back but I know that I need to make my faith stronger and I will have to do a lot to get it there.
